trust

"Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes,

for the present time,

the design of your God concerning those things

which shall come hereafter,

and the glory which shall follow

after much tribulation"

--Doctrine & Covenants 58:3

  

"Trust in the Lord

with all thine heart

and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him

and He shall direct thy paths."

--Proverbs 3:5-6

  

"Seek not to counsel the Lord...

[You] know that He counseleth

in wisdom and in justice and in great mercy..."

--Jacob 4:9-10

it all sounds so straightforward and easy.

just trust the Lord.

remember that Heavenly Father knows best.

align your will with His.

God loves you and wants to bless you.

sure, I know this. I do. I can say from experience that all this is true. our Father really does know us personally and He sees things we cannot. His perspective is infinitely more expansive. He would never direct us to paths contrary to the ultimate reward we seek. as His child, His work and His glory is to bring me back to live with Him. He wishes me to have joy in this life.

so why would it have to be so hard?

that's where trust comes in. sometimes we can only see so far down the path. I love to see my steps, but how much improved can my journey be if I let Him lead me? it is unbelievably difficult to hand over my life. I would so much like to tell the Lord, "looky here. this is what I like and I think it's pretty dynamite. don't you think you can work that into your eternal scheme? I'm happy right now. promise." I know what happy is, don't I? I can tell when I'm enjoying life. but sometimes...there must be an alternate happiness. because I cannot always have what I want.

it's hard. and initially I really really don't have any desire to yield. but deep down...I know that I can't be happy without choosing His way. He knows me better, and he can see my whole journey: start to finish.

so I'm going to have to trust. it might be bumpy. it might tear my heart in two pieces. but I know. I know that He knows.
and I have to trust.